I definitey would

Can someone explain something to me. please? Great, here we go.

I have friends who I think are the loveliest, smartest, funniest people I have ever met. They are all quite exquisitely composed both physically and facially. They display intelligence, wit, courage in adversity, and display a level of grace and composure that I know I will never possess. These friends are the people that I can tell the things to that I would be ashamed to admit to even thinking to others, possibly even to myself. I consider myself so fortunate to know them, and their very presence in my life makes my world a better, brighter place.

There isn't one of them that I wouldn't recommend to a friend, which is high praise from me.

Yet - can anyone explain to me why on earth these friends of mine are single? I find it utterly baffling. How on earth has this happened? My word, these people are utterly bloody lovely. Seriously. I so would myself if only they'd have me.

They all possess a level of self esteem that can only be described as appalling. Despite being such incredible people, they believe themselves to be worthless and not deserving of so much as a modicum of respect. Both genders are represented here.

It's awful. It's extremely painful for me to hear how they speak about themselves. Let's be honest here - you could have a brass band leading a ticker tape parade in praise of you, but you'll still think you're worthless if that's where your brain is at. How many times have I told them all that they're great and they've just dismissed it as the ramblings of a mad lady? Quite a few.

Don't misunderstand - I don't think that I am a force of great presence or incredible importance in their lives, and most likely they mean more to me than I to them. Naturally I am now just viewed as a mum anyway, so I am sure they just dismiss whatever I say to them as someone not actually listening to them who is trying to buffer them up in a mother-esque way. This isn't the case at all.

They have told me things about their past that has made my heart ache for them. They tell me things that they are feeling and just dismiss it as something I would find boring, or that the very emotions they are having are something to be disregarded as of no relevance. A much loved friend dismissed the fact that she is in love someone as a silly teenage crush. I once listened to another friend recount how they lived their childhood and found myself enormously enraged on their behalf. They then just shrugged it off as if it didn't matter as it had only happened to them.

This lack of respect for themselves makes me angry and sad. it hurts to see people you care for and love get treated badly by anyone. Somehow it's so much worse when it's them directing that behaviour inwards. I don't understand how they can dismiss themselves like this, and I wish they'd stop. There seems to be a lot of thought that they're not attractive enough, or funny enough, or smart enough when they really are, more so than they believe.

Fact is, I'm a woman of my word. If I tell you something, it's true. People, each and every one of you - I definitely would.