1 February 2010

It may be time

Following a meeting at The Boy's school today, the consensus has finally been reached that it "may be time" to look at bring in the behavioural referral team, and placing The Boy at another educational institution.

It has been admitted that he is not learning anything as he refuses to do so.

His violence is ever escalating, his temper is worsening, my bruises are getting bigger.  He is attacking and threatening adults as well as children.  Teaching staff and support staff alike are afraid of him.  He is now at a point where none of the other children will play or associate with him, as his mood swings are so violent and unpredictable.

It has been vocalised that "mainstream school may no longer be appropriate for him."

The thing is, whilst I am happy for him to go to a "special school", and in many ways, this has been what we have wanted for a very long time, he is not.  The very real problem is that it is not something that he wants, and therein lies the issue.  He adores having friends, but now he has very few, if any.

He is so isolated, so alone, so frightened, and I have no idea how to satiate that.  I used to have the key to get to him, but he's changed all the locks and now none of us know how to reach him anymore. 

I'm not ready to quit, and I never will be, but tell me; how do we deal with this? Anyone? Please?

4 comments:

Greenfield Green said...

Violence is a real tough one with autism. I do know that feeling of not recognising my son when he is off on one, it's like a demon posessing your child. All i know is that it is all about them being in overload with what they themselves can cope with and they explode. I don't think we could ever truely understand what is is to be them and what are the things that they just can't cope with, even they themselves don't know and there is the tragedy. One thing is certain and that is that his school life presently does not appear to be right for him from what you say. And i suspect that in the transition to the new school there will be terrible times until he settles and adjusts. But there is that glimmer of hope there for you now that given a school where they understand autism better that he may well improve. I always think of autism being like coming from 2 different planets where everything, the language, the social norms absolutely everything is different on autism world and here they are stranded in a strange planet with no translator. It's no wonder the kids can't learn at school, i know i couldn't learn maths if someone taught me under water in Japonese. At the very least now people who may be able to help you are getting involved.

Karen Wiltshire said...

Is your lad in a mainstream school?

We don't have ones with units attached here. We were accepted at a great one in Wandsworth but got evicted so couldn;t take up the place (Beatrix Potter, one of the best ones in the country, plus the headteacher's son is autistic so he ahs a real understanding of it).

I am hoping we can get him into a particular school, but we still need statement et al. Sigh...

Jaspersmammy said...

you need to keep yourself involved with all the team making decisions. make yourself the biggest pain in the ass that they tell you everything just to shut you up. s had a multi disc team which involved education welfare, LEA, SENCO, Ed Psych, Social Worker & Consultant Psychiatrist...im guessing yours is a similar line up? in your parental advice, try and remember everything you can at various milestones, in as much detail as you can..it will help. wish i lived closer so i can be there for moral support for YOU!!!

Jaspersmammy said...

oh and if things havent changed since 2000, you can look at schools of YOUR choice, if you can present a case that they will provide the best needs for your child. Your local authority will choose a school that is best for their budget, it may be a school that meets the specific needs, but then again may not. i chose s school, was £20K a year more than the school the LEA had chosen, but managed to persuade them with a small fight!