Team Around My Child Meeting

Yesterday, The Boy's Team Around The Child review meeting was held.

This is an opportunity for all agencies involved with The Boy to provide input as to how their work with him has affected his ability to integrate into the school, his behaviour generally and what the "next step" is.

I have seen the numbers around the table swell from being myself, the SENCO and the head, to representatives from the Autism Advisory Service, The Behaviour Unit of CAMHS, an educational psychologist, the speech and language therapist and, rather more importantly to my mind, his teacher.

A general review was held, where again the SENCO refused to listen to what was being said.  This time, instead of it being me shouting at her, there were a whole body of professionals doing it for me, and she quickly learnt to do as she was told.

It is a huge shame that it has taken this long for him to get the help he needs. I know all parents say this about their children, but The Boy really is a lovely kid.  Despite the violence that he displays through frustration, he is a kind and thoughtful person, he is funny, he is sweet, and as recently discovered, he is extremely intelligent.

The school decrees that the next step for The Boy will be exclusion, as per the head.  Now that bodies are involved to assist with his behaviour and it isn't improving as much as they think it should (and we will ignore that they appear to believe that it should magically change overnight rather than acknowledging that a lot of it is learnt behaviour that will take much time to amend), exclusion is said to be the next step. 

It's a horrifying step, but it does mean that the application of a statement will be taken more seriously by the panel who consider it.  It's highly upsetting to know that your child makes anyone feel unsafe, especially when you know that from personal experience.  It is worse when you are told that it is without basis that he acts like that, when you know that it isn't because he is naughty that he does it.

The review also enables queries to be raised in regards to the previous or existing CAFs. One of mine has been the school's insistence on levying a distinction between violence towards an adult or child.  If he is violent or threatening towards an adult, I am supposed to be phoned at the time of incident whilst he was in the room.  I had wanted for this to also be the case if a child was attacked.  When I am called, it is as I leave the house to collect him.  It transpires that he is not in the room when it is done. Thus, the calls are made with the only punishment being that I am made to feel crap and a bad parent.

I am told that it is school policy that I be called.  The others around the table tell the SENCO that being human and considering the feelings of a parent who is unsupported and has been doing this alone should be school policy.  I cry.  We reconvene for 6 weeks time. I'll keep you updated.