Bingo

It can be observed by any one in possession of eyes that I have the fashion sense of a blind woman.  I have nothing that is provocative, cool or trendy in my wardrobe (certainly not that I can wear at any rate.  I often find one or both t'midgets hiding in there playing silly buggers, both of whom can be described as effortlessly cool just by virtue of being, but it is unlikely that I would shove them around my neck as a fetching scarf.)

I do like the idea that, at some junction, I will get enough interest in myself to give a shit about how I look, past the "does it have vomit / snot / blood / saliva / food on it?"  It seems highly unlikely.

In the meantime, we can all play Karen Bingo, whereby you can carry a card with a list of possible bodily fluids, food stuffs, craft materials, and general household items that may (and likely are) smeared across my clothing.  Upon meeting, you can scan my clothing and tick off your card.

A full house wins you a withering look. To the gamecards!