Diagnosis : A New Journey

The Lidster is now three and a half. Her speech is significantly delayed. On the emotional, social and play development scales, she is averaging 18-24 months. Her tantrums have not lessened. She has never had a bath without screaming, despite consistent patience and a variety of ways of approaching the event. She hates her head being touched. She covers her ears and screams at loud, sudden noises. She will screw up her eyes and turn away if something scares her, frequently animation. She will take off all of her clothes as they 'hurt'. She responds very badly to the word 'no'. She seems to have no grasp of right or wrong. She has no time for other children, preferring adult company. She refuses to use the toilet, or the potty, and as such toilet training just isn't happening as my nerves can no longer take it. She is insistent on a very precise way of playing, which includes categorising her toys by shape, size, colour and type.

It is becoming quite, quite clear that she is not just the cow that I had previously thought she was.

Most siblings of autistic children show similar behaviour patterns to their elder brother or sister, until such a time that they are in an environment with a greater level of neurotypical children. When they are around more neurotypical children, it is supposed, their behaviour and development will fall back within (and I use this word painedly) "normal" guidelines.

Lid's introduction to pre-school, on a daily afternoon basis, has not seen an improvement in her behaviour. If anything, it would appear that some of her foibles have become more noticeable, and I am advised that at school nursery she does not make eye contact.

With girls, Autistic Spectrum Disorders are particularly difficult to diagnose due to their superior ability to mimic "caring" roles. This is to such a degree that often, those on the more highly functioning end of the spectrum, may not be diagnosed at all.

Now, after much nagging on my part, (not having a health visitor hasn't helped, nor has the fact that my previous health visitor was convinced that I was 'imagining it') she is scheduled to start the rounds of speech and language therapy, educational psychologists, and SENCO assessments.

Why it has taken so long for us to get to here I do not know. It is a cause of great anxiety on my part that she has had to suffer my lack of understanding for the time I was convinced that she was merely naughty. I am unable to forgive myself for the impact that the delay in achieving diagnosis may have done to her, especially for my lack of patience, more so when compared to the almost unending patience I display with her elder, already diagnosed, brother.

So - here we are on a brand new journey. I am, I think, accepting that she will be diagnosed as being on the spectrum, but then it has been a slow realisation, helped by research. It is, as always, others that find it so hard to accept. I hope that I am up to the job of protecting and helping her, and ensuring that she is now my autistic little cow rather than my naughty little cow. Wish us luck.