There is a terrible new scourge affecting our children.
It is a deadly disease, that can develop over time, claiming our children from us and rendering them almost unrecognisable as human beings.
It is called Tosserism.
There is no research as to why so many children will grow into this condition (and it appears to be something that children will grow into as they age, the disease itself taking a steady hold as they grow). It mainly affects those over the age of 16, but has been recorded in some much younger than this. It appears to take peak effect from middle age, only worsening with old age.
It is estimated that, of every 91 children born, over 65 will develop Tosserism.
Characteristics of the disease include disapproving looks, loud tutting, elongated rabid ramblings as to what happened in the sufferer's day, unwarranted input as to how a child should be disciplined, as well as uneducated supposition as to a parent's skill at being same.
There is currently no known effective long term treatment for Tosserism.
It has been known to develop randomly, particularly when the sufferer observes a parent dealing with their child, especially when that child is autistic and is having a very public meltdown.
Sadly, it is still illegal to slap someone suffering with Tosserism.
The best thing that we, as a society, can do for those suffering with this terrible disease is to try to understand what it must be like to be devoid of any empathy for other human beings. We must try to comprehend the juxtaposition between their being accepted easily within society compared with the difficulty suffered by those who have autism.
There are no plans to start a help campaign to assist those afflicted with Tosserism.
It is vital that we remember that those with Tosserism cannot help themselves for acting in this way but, with patience, sarcasm and quick wit, they can be taught that their opinions are unwelcome and should be soundly kept in their mouths, not shared.
If you, or someone you love are affected by Tosserism, it may be time to reconsider the company you keep.
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5 comments:
It used to be that children were taught manners and grew into adults who did not go around badmouthing every little thing that was happening with other people. Awareness needs to do more than just teach the masses a new word. If people actually were "aware" of what we go through, then we'd see a lot less of the disapproving looks and snide remarks. I think if posts such as this were given to those making the remarks, they might actually step back and take a look at themselves and maybe, just maybe they would try to be a little more understanding.
I've seen a number of candidates for "TOTM" (Tosser of the Month) awards. Like the parent who said "these special needs kids are taking up too much time, and detracting from what can be done for the more able children."
Where have these people been for the last 20+ years? What will they be advocating next?
Anon (just in case)
I believe they can get a wipe-clean information card which explains Tosserism and its symptoms. Lloyds TSB have ordered 45,000 and next week there will be a free one in every copy of Nuts.
Maybe we should start circulating them, or make Lloyds TSB circulate it with their wipe clean boards (?ugh!) in Nuts...
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